She was my first girlfriend. She was exceptionally good-looking.
I used to call her by her nickname, Di.
Di and I met at school last September when we were freshmen.
She was dressed especially fresh that day: a short top with low-waisted hot pants, revealing her slim waist, and super-short pants that made her pale legs stand out.
To be honest, I was just attracted to her sexy vibe.
I couldn't help but think: how nice it would be for me, who had never been in love, to be with such an attractive girl.
So, I took the initiative to ask for her WeChat.
As we talked, I grew to like Di more and more.
I love that she's soft-spoken, good-natured, and resilient.
But what got me the most was how pretty and sexy she was.
But now, when Di wore more revealing clothes and went on a date with me, my mood changed from happy and proud before to nervous and scared.
One is worried about her safety, and the other is that she has a lot of male friends, so what if there is a better boy than me who is also attracted to her.
But I'm afraid to say it outright.
Because Di is quite opinionated (probably related to the fact that she grew up in a patriarchal family and lacked love), it's not too easy to change habits.
And I don't want to interfere too much with her freedom.
I'm afraid that if I say it, it will affect my feelings.
What the hell am I supposed to do?
Hello!
I can feel the conflict, worry and overwhelm in your heart from what you shared.
You say that your girlfriend is your first love, very beautiful, you met in freshman year, you were attracted by her sexy dress, added WeChat and slowly developed into a couple, you like her tenderness, easy-going and strong, but now when you date, you feel uneasy because she is wearing a revealing, both for fear of her insecurity, but also for fear of other boys to chase her, but you dare not speak up, feel that she has the initiative, do not want to limit her, worried about hurting feelings, so came to seek Advice.
Below I share three practical tips that I hope will help you:
First of all, I suggest you look at your "mind" objectively.
You don't think it should be there, but it is. Think about it, is this minding a reflection of your care and love?
When you realize this, it may be clearer what to do.
Sincerely communicate your feelings to your girlfriend.
Since minding stems from love, say it frankly. Keeping it in your heart instead tends to make the relationship stagnant.
For example, on a date, you could say, "Babe, there's something I want to talk to you about. I know you've always liked to dress sexy, and I used to appreciate that, but now I'm a little worried about your safety and that I'm not as good as the male friends you have around you. Would you consider adjusting your style of dress a little? I'm doing you a favor."
By expressing it this way, she may not realize your concern and instead feel that you are considerate. Especially since she grew up in an unloved environment, your concern will warm her heart.
The key is to talk about your feelings in an "I" tone of voice, avoiding accusations, so that communication is smoother.
Give your girlfriend some time while focusing on improving yourself.
She may not change immediately after communication, you need to be patient. MEANWHILE, focus on yourself, like becoming better and more secure.
If you make an effort to change, she may be more willing to adjust if she sees your intentions.
If she still insists on staying the same, you need to ask yourself if you can live with it. If you can accept it then continue, if not then the relationship may need to be reassessed.
It's good to OPEN communication between couples, don't be afraid to open up, it allows you to get to know each other better.
I hope these suggestions are helpful!