What am I going to do? Tired of seeming to see through everyone and everything.
Hi, friend! Let me start by giving you a big hug through the air. I'm honored to read your question and I hope that what I've shared will be of some practical help to you. From your short description, I can relate to your inner sense of loss, despair, helplessness and exhaustion.
Our relationships with the world and our interactions with others really stem from how we see ourselves. Try to be aware of this, can you treat yourself the way you wish to be treated when you feel you are not being treated kindly? If you can't do that for yourself, how can you expect others to treat you that way?
Relationships are like a system. How we desire to be treated in a relationship requires that we consciously treat ourselves and others that way, because our behavior invariably affects the way others respond.
So, if you have a lot of inner non-acceptance, dislike, low self-esteem, or lack of confidence in yourself and don't realize it, it's easy to project those emotions onto others and feel that they will also deny you or even be hostile to you.
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how others treat you, it's how you treat yourself that matters. You are the centerpiece of your own life.
I recommend you read the book "You Are the Answer", it might inspire you.
I'm Lily Little Ears from the Answer Library, and the world and I love you all the time.