I've been dating my boyfriend for over six months now, and I recently realized that he works at the same company as a girl he had liked before. Although that was a long time ago, they now cross paths at work and have to contact each other often. How can I adjust my mindset so that I don't keep this on my mind all the time?
Hello, dear friend! I'm a high-flying emotional counselor.
I can especially relate to the tangled feelings you're feeling right now, and I'll start by giving you a warm hug!
If you really love him, it's only human to care.
Especially if the other person is still an ex and works in the same office as your boyfriend, it's inevitable that this relationship will make you more than a little concerned. At work they may have necessary contact and even non-essential interactions that will deepen their familiarity with each other and could indeed bring about some changes.
Generally, couples are especially wary of the presence and potential threats of their exes. It's hard to not care at all, and if you really don't care, it may instead indicate that you're not as attached to the relationship as you could be.
Since we can't avoid working together, our boyfriend's attitude is crucial.
Maybe when you take the initiative to ask, he'll talk you out of it and tell you to accept the status quo.
But what would be even more ideal is for your boyfriend to take the initiative to share with you what's going on at work, confess what he thinks of that girl, and clear up any uneasiness you may have by communicating on a regular basis.
Alternatively, he should strengthen the depth of communication with you and build a stronger emotional bond in your day-to-day life, so that he can help you slowly develop confidence.
△△ You can prepare your mind and defense in advance
For example, have a mental plan for the worst case scenario so that you can deal with the possibilities.
The key is to focus on self-regulation, improving your tolerance, and being prepared so that you are more grounded inside.
Let's grow, explore and learn together.
I'm glad I had the chance to meet you here.
Way to go! One Heart and I will always support you!