I am 35 years old, female, earning about a million dollars a year, with family assets close to 10 million dollars. My husband is starting his own business and his income is not very stable. I have two sons and two elderly people to take care of at home, so it is good that I don't have any other extra burdens.
I have a strong obsession with saving money and building wealth.
I feel especially bad whenever I spend money.
I can't even afford to spend a few dollars on breakfast.
What kind of mental problem is this? How do I adjust it? How to change? I am looking for guidance from the experts.
Hi! Sending you a warm hug through the air first. I'm glad to see your plea for help, and I hope that what I've shared will give you some practical support. The fact that you are keenly aware of the pain that comes with spending money and have reached out for help is an important step.
Awareness itself is the starting point for change, and change requires acceptance of yourself first. Accept that you will have troubling and painful emotions when it comes to spending money. Try to go deeper and ask yourself what else is hiding behind this reluctance to part with money. Things like shame, guilt, feeling like you don't deserve to spend money, or thinking that money must be saved to be safe ......
It is only when you are brave enough to face and question the root causes behind these negative emotions, such as feelings of shame, guilt or unworthiness, as well as some misperceptions about money, that you will be able to make effective adjustments. For example, where did these feelings first come from? Was it the influence of parents or environment growing up? For example, in the past, when you were economically disadvantaged, your parents may have inadvertently conveyed the idea that spending money is bad. But today your situation is completely different and you have the ability to create wealth, right?
So when the self-critical voice comes up inside when spending money, consciously remind yourself that it's a remnant of old ideas and not your fault. You fully deserve to enjoy life now, and money should be a tool that serves you. The world and I are rooting for you to move towards a more relaxed mindset.
I'm Lilly the Answer House Little Ears, the world and I love you.