The boy I like is particularly good, handsome, gentle character, and academic performance is also top. But once I overheard him talking to his friends that he thought I looked ordinary, which made me feel a little bad. The gap between my grades and his is quite large, usually chatting I always take the initiative to find him, he responded more cold. But I think we should have a good feeling about each other, right? The relationship doesn't seem to be affecting his studies, but I always feel like I'm the only one trying to keep it going. Should I give up on this relationship altogether? Or is a long-distance relationship reliable or not?
Hello, little girl.
I'll start by talking about the question of whether a long distance relationship is reliable. In fact, it depends entirely on what kind of people both parties are, whether they are willing to put in the effort for each other, and whether they genuinely love each other.
Even if two people start out loving each other, if one of them backs off from trying harder because of low self-esteem, the relationship may not go anywhere.
In a relationship, you become the more active party, which makes you care more about your grades, and perhaps affects the state of preparation for exams. You also become more preoccupied with the future, always worrying about all sorts of things.
But the feelings are mutual, and the effects can rebound just as well.
After all, the two parties in a relationship are separate individuals and there are bound to be differences.
The more average partner will try to catch up with the better one, and the better one may be more tolerant of the other. This is actually an expectation of the good state of a relationship.
I think you have this expectation in your heart too, don't you? You don't think the relationship is interfering with his studies, but you actually subconsciously hope that the relationship will make a difference to him.
For example, could he help you with your homework? Or comfort you more? Or interact with you more proactively and share your worries together?
What exactly do you expect him to do? And if he doesn't live up to your expectations, what do you choose? Take a moment to ask yourself and follow your inner voice.
I want to share my thoughts on love.What exactly is love?I'm grateful that your question gave me a chance to reflect on this.
As I read your description over and over again, this sentence in particular:
The boy I like is very good, and relatively handsome, and gentle, and has good grades.
I can't help but think.What kind of boy is this?
There are actually quite a lot of good, handsome, gentle, high-achieving boys in the world.Why do you prefer this one?
If you meet a better, more handsome, gentler, better grades guy in the future, will you falter? Will you like someone else?
If we do switch, is it the person himself or those glimmers of him that we like?
But if you're not willing to switch, then why? Putting aside all these external conditions when his merits seem ordinary in the presence of someone more brilliant.What do you really like about him?
Love actually has a kind of uniqueness - even if there are people in the world who are similar to you, or even better than you, I will only recognize you. Not because of your merits, but only because you are unique.
Girl, don't forget that you are also a unique being in this world.You can try to become better for the person you like, which is both a response to his love and your dedication to yourself.
Meanwhile.Excellence is also a litmus test for love.
A boy is excellent, handsome, gentle and good grades, of course, will attract the attention of many girls, which is the first step for people to understand each other.
The flip side is the same for girls, being good can make you attract more people, but ultimately it's about finding the person who doesn't just look at your outward qualities, but loves you for who you are.
I wish you all the best in getting better step by step and finding that one person that you recognize as the one for each other.