I'm especially afraid of talking to strangers, my heart flutters at the contact and I always want to avoid it.
Usually you can handle everyday things like shopping, taking a taxi or asking for directions, but you speak in an especially low voice, like a mosquito screaming.
If people don't immediately talk to me, I'm so uncomfortable that I don't know where to put my hands and feet.
It also feels especially awkward when I'm alone in public places or at dinner, as if everyone is staring at me.
I'm not happy with myself anywhere, I have low self-esteem, and I always feel inferior to others.
Now I want to get a part-time job and practice my guts with a job that requires dealing with strangers, will this work? Will it make things worse? What can I do to slowly get better in my situation?
Hugs little buddy, straight to your question first"
Exercising by reaching out to strangers on the side is one way to get more involved with people and slowly learn how to express yourself more smoothly. But there are many other ways to try besides this. Before I share specific suggestions, I'd like to ask you to do a little homework:Figure out why you have a social fear?
First, figure out why you have a social phobia.
You mentioned not being confident enough, low self-esteem, and fear of interacting with strangers. So think back, when did you start feeling like you couldn't do it? When did you start avoiding strangers? How did you feel when you came into contact with strangers? Why do you always want to run away? What aspects of yourself are particularly lacking in confidence? ......
Next, let's talk about how to fix what's bothering you.
The first suggestion is that
Slowly turn low self-esteem into self-confidence
You're a good person. The fact that you're taking the initiative to come and find a way shows that you're really great because you're trying to get better, and that alone is much better than a lot of people who lie down and get even! You're also thinking of exercising yourself on a part-time job, and this positive attitude towards life is so worthy of praise!Therefore, look at your own strengths, such as your motivation is the flash point. Specifically, you can write a success diary, write down the small things you do well every day; encourage yourself more, tell yourself "I can do it"; boast about your efforts. Only when you first feel that you have value, others will feel your energy.
The second recommendation is thatTry to genuinely compliment someone.. You say that you have trouble communicating with people and that you speak in a low voice, probably because you are timid inside. Then how about starting by praising someone out loud, like "You're awesome!" "I admire you!" Who doesn't like to be praised? If the other person is happy, the conversation will naturally be easier.
The third recommendation is thatDon't worry too much about what people think of you.You said, "I feel uncomfortable when people don't reply to me in time. You say, "I feel uncomfortable when people don't reply to me in a timely manner, and I don't feel comfortable eating out alone". This means that although you are afraid of socializing, you are particularly concerned about what other people think and tend to feel that "they don't like me".
You can think about it:Why are you uncomfortable when people ignore you? Do you think they're doing it on purpose? Why are you embarrassed when you eat alone? What do you think people will say about you?These answers are really plays in your own mind, not what others really think. How you see yourself is how you think others see you. If you really want to know what others think, you have to go to the actual contact. So, relax, straighten your back wherever you are, and appreciate yourself enough.
I hope the above points help you. A part-time job can practice your guts, but the key is to love and approve of yourself from the heart first. Part-time jobs are just tools, the real thing to practice is to love the you that is trying to get better.Cheer up! You're gonna get better and better!