I realize that I have some mental deficiencies and have just recently started counseling and have already met with my counselor twice.
To put it simply, I feel particularly unloved, very lonely, and desperately in need of companionship. When you do things alone, you can't get energized, you feel that everything is meaningless, and you can't feel happy from the bottom of your heart.
This pattern has actually always existed, and recently erupted because I had just ended a particularly torturous relationship and was in the midst of adjusting to the breakup, and was struggling to get through each day.
For example, in the afternoon, that feeling of loneliness would suddenly strike me, as if there was no corner of the world that would accept me, and no one would really understand me or know me. What fun can there be in such a life?
The
Every time this happens, I am especially tempted to go to my ex-boyfriend, feeling like I can't hold on much longer and desperately need a lifeline to reach out to him for some relief first.
The
Hello, my friend.
I can sense that you are very eager to be cared for and loved, and value relationships, but the attitudes of others tend to make you anxious and miserable. In fact, you may not really "lack of love", but inner insecurity. You don't care enough about yourself and expect too much from others, and when the reality is not as you want it to be, the psychological gap will aggravate the difficult feeling.
My dear, you say that there is no place in the world that understands you, but the person who understands you the most should be you, and the one who should accept you the most is you. You've reached out for help, and that's brave! The key to truly building a sense of security is to be strong within yourself.
Ending a relationship does hurt, but relationships are mutual. A better way is to be able to take what you can get, and if you are not right for each other or have irreconcilable conflicts, separating will be growth for both parties. What was once good will become part of your life, making you more complete, and when you meet the right person in the future, you can be more confident to love.
I hope these words give you some comfort and I wish you all the best!
I'm Tatsuhi, the little ear of the Q&A Hall, the world and I love you ╭❤～