I am 28 years old and a female.
Recently, I've been feeling more and more uncomfortable about going out, and the mention of socializing makes me feel bad. Because of my job, my work schedule is reversed around the clock and I can't adjust it. I'm emotionally fragile, I can't move, I cry, I can't remember the happy things, but the embarrassing things are always in my mind, and then I fall into deep regret and remorse. I even want all the people who know me to forget me, do not want to go back to the place where I used to live or study, and do not even want to go to the city where I have acquaintances.
For me, the ideal state would be to live my life like a robot, calm and unruffled, going through the motions.
Now every day I just want to be paralyzed and listen to fictional stories, and I can't find any motivation at all. I have no interest in eating, shopping, or dressing up, and my days are muddled, rough and woeful.
Sometimes I want to die, but I am afraid of the pain; I want to live, but I feel too tired. However, I obviously don't have much pressure, and the only thing my parents talk about is getting married. They think it's easy to get married, so it's like I have no pressure at all, but I always have a feeling that I'll be miserable after I get married.
Hi owner, thanks for sharing. After reading your description, I'm a bit worried about you. How long has this been going on for you? Has it been more than two weeks? It feels like you don't have any real stress, but you lack motivation in your life, your appetite drops, your routine is messed up, you avoid socializing, you blame yourself and cry easily, you just want to lie down and stay still, you're afraid of marriage, and you even have thoughts of lightening your life. These symptoms are very much like signs of depression and you may need to pay attention to your mental health.
In view of the above, my recommendations are as follows:
1. First of all, if this state has lasted for more than two weeks, it is recommended that you go to the psychiatric department of a hospital as soon as possible, so that your doctor can make a professional assessment and follow the doctor's instructions.
2. If there are thoughts of harming yourself during this time, please call Lifeline on 0800 161 9995 or refer to the hotline at this link: https://www.xinli001.com/info/100441159?from=search for immediate help.
3. If conditions permit, it may be helpful to talk to a suitable counselor.
4. Tell your family or friends about your condition and ask them to support you when needed. For example, accompanying you to the hospital or encouraging you to get up for a change of scenery when all you want to do is lie down, take a walk and walk for half an hour, and your condition may improve. Remember, you don't want to move, not you can't, and it's easier to have company.
5. Set a small goal or plan for yourself and accomplish a little bit each day. Act according to the plan, not according to your mood. Go with the flow and do what you need to do.
6. Check out some self-healing books, such as Clearstream's Healing Time: You Will Finally Bloom, or Burns' Burns' New Emotional Therapy.
7. Try drawing a mandala, or writing down the emotions in your heart, or listening to some rhythmic music. These methods may help you improve your state.
Remember, thoughts aren't real, don't get trapped by them.
The fact that you can ask for help on the platform shows that you have the strength within you to help yourself. Give yourself permission to take occasional breaks, but don't give up trying.
Good luck!