My mom has a particularly strong personality, and sometimes I think her ideas are a bit out of touch with the times, and the gap between our values is too great. She always tries to push what she thinks is good on me, and as a result, we often argue over small things when we see things differently.
To be honest, some of the things my parents did in the past hurt me quite a bit, and I still find it hard to forgive them completely. But I also understand that their stubbornness and cognitive limitations have a lot to do with the historical background of our country.
Nowadays, many young people are facing similar problems, and it's especially hard for them to choose a different path from their parents. I don't want to listen to them for everything, but right now I still have to rely on them for financial support, so I really don't know how to break the situation.
Hello, friend!
👉🏼 From your description, I can feel that you are quite torn, both want to break free from the parents' values, but also because of economic reasons can not be fully independent for the time being.
🍀 You say your parents hurt you deeply, but you also realize their limitations and historical factors. Being able to think about this level shows that you are already much more enlightened than them. People of your parents' generation, influenced by their environment and education, do have limitations in their values. Your conflict, to put it bluntly, is the result of cognitive differences. But in the final analysis, they do love you, they just express it in their own way, don't you think?
🍀 You mentioned that your mom is very pushy and always imposes what she thinks is good on you. How do you usually respond to her when this happens?
🍀 You'll argue over differences in opinion, when in fact the argument is often because neither side really sees where the other stands, don't you agree?
🍀When arguing, people focus on expressing themselves loudly, but forget to listen to each other's words, not to mention the true feelings behind the words. At this point, emotions get the best of them and people are prone to become slaves to their emotions.
🍀 Next time you have a disagreement, slow down and calmly figure out what your parents really mean by their words. Sometimes they mean to be caring, but they come out as accusing or complaining. We need to practice our eyes so that the veneer of love wrapped around them is not misinterpreted.
🍀 It's hard to change our parents' perceptions, but when our awareness is raised, we can see through to their true heart instead of being carried away by our emotions when their words and actions don't match. In this way, the relationship will naturally become more and more harmonious.
🍀 I'm Counselor Demoiselle, wishing you all the best!