Recently I met a netizen on the Internet, often chat together to make friends, but I have absolutely no heart for her feeling, just simply want to find a friend to share the daily chores. Is this a scummy behavior? Why is it that after only a few days of chatting, the other person says she likes me and wants to be in a relationship? Could it be that the way I shared my life gave her a misunderstanding? Then she confessed her feelings for me and I clearly refused, saying I just wanted to be friends, and she deleted me.
So is it wrong for me to find someone to talk to and share my daily routine like this? Maybe it's because everyone has different emotional needs.
A friend sends you flowers!
In fact, online dating and chatting is supposed to be a very common thing, so why is there such a misunderstanding?
Let's analyze it briefly. As they say in physics, same sex repels and opposite sex attracts, and in interpersonal interactions, it is sometimes similar to this phenomenon. Of course, this is quite common in outer life.
First of all, when you share your daily life with a person of the opposite sex frequently, especially in an online environment, the other person can easily feel warm and intimate and naturally develop a favorable impression. In this way, both parties' expectations of the relationship may be skewed.
The difference is that you only see the other person as a good friend who can talk about their joys and sorrows, while the other person may mistake this as a sign of love because he feels that sharing life means intimacy and fantasizes that the two of you can develop into lovers. So, your relationship positions are fundamentally different.
So why would the other person suddenly confess his love and then delete his friends after being rejected? This is actually quite normal because he didn't get the love he wanted and didn't feel the need to spend any more time maintaining a normal friendship. He may only desire a romantic relationship, not just a friend interaction.
So, the other guy's behavior is justified. But in retrospect, the word "scum" usually refers to someone who has a partner and still flirts with others, or is around multiple people of the opposite sex at the same time. Of course, definitions vary from person to person, so I'm just saying my personal opinion (sorry if I'm offended). By this standard, your behavior is not scummy.
So is it possible to find genuine friends online? Let's just say it's possible, but it's not easy. There's a big gap between the internet and reality, and true friendship stems more from getting along in offline life.
So, just keep a normal heart to face it, and learn to think in multiple perspectives, so that when the trouble comes, it can help you reduce a lot of pressure oh 😊.
I hope these tips help, cheers 😊
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