My ex-boyfriend and I have separated and I know in my heart that he is not the one I really want. He had no love for me, not even basic respect.
I thought I had come full circle and was clear that the relationship really wasn't worth holding onto anything.
In retrospect, it was more about the physical desires of both parties that were at work in the relationship.
After we broke up, we would still occasionally be intimate, and I was particularly annoyed with myself for this behavior and resentful that he continued to come on to me.
But for some reason, I can't help but think of him lately.
Especially in moments of loneliness, I would feel as if having a regular sexual partner would be quite convenient.
It is often said that sex without love is immoral, is that really true? I don't want to seem depraved, but sometimes fantasize that maybe open marriage is a possibility, even though it really isn't safe.
Could it be that I've become so negative because I lack a sense of self-worth and feel unworthy of love?
Our attitudes towards sex are often heavily influenced by our parents' ideas.
Sex is an instinctive human need and it is reasonable to enjoy sex as long as it is consensual.
But older generations or social traditions may believe that sexual behavior should only occur within marriage.
So it's really a personal choice which viewpoint to subscribe to.
Today's society is becoming more and more diverse and various subcultures are on the rise. I read a survey that showed that about 10% of people admit to being bisexual, a statistic that surprised me a bit.
You know very well that this ex doesn't respect you and can't give you the love you crave, but sexually, he can fulfill your needs. You understand what you want and this is a relationship where you get what you want. As an adult, your behavior is thought out.
It's just that this relationship doesn't seem to fit well with the mainstream view.
It's normal to have that concern.
I think that as long as sexual behavior doesn't harm yourself or others, it should be respected.