The hospital checked it out and said it was major depression, and anxiety.
But I don't quite believe it in my heart, those rating scales don't feel reliable at all.
The doctor recommended a two-week hospitalization, but I really didn't want to go.
Don't they say you have to learn to accept your imperfect self? I've accepted it all.
If you're depressed, you're depressed. There's no difference between being alive and being dead. I wanted to try counseling, but it seems too formal and fake, and I'm tired of hearing those positive words.
I don't even want to go into the hospital, I just want an outcome.
I'm scared myself, being so indifferent to life.
Honestly, I don't see why people should get so hung up on it. If you want to live, live. If you don't want to live, forget it.
But there is still a little light in my heart, and I hope that someday I can muster up the courage to go to therapy.
If you can't cure it, forget it.
Hi, first a spaced out hug for you. I'm glad to see you asking for help and I hope my sharing helps.
If the tertiary care hospital confirms a diagnosis of major depression and anxiety, then medication may be needed, and hospitalization or not is at the doctor's discretion.
Please believe that coming for help when you are so desperate means that inside you want to live well, it's just that right now your emotions are trapping you and preventing you from seeing hope and resources, so you're trying to escape.
Try to realize that you don't care about life, and even want to respond by dying, is there some inner need that is not being met? Like wanting to be respected, understood, and cared for.
Hurting yourself may cause those who have hurt you to reflect on it, but it's your life that's being traded for your life. What do you think?
I can tell from your words that there have been moments of light in your life. When you are down, try to think back to those times, what you did, how you felt, how others responded. Can you try doing that now?
So don't get stuck in your current emotions. Everyone goes through anxiety and depression, and when we are aware of these emotions, we can cope better. But if it's diagnosed, it's still important to treat it.
I'm Lilly the Little Earther from the Answer House, and the world and I love you.